Extra extra! Read all about it! New LA Metro line to be finished this week! In a matter of days, LA residents will be able to luxuriously travel from booming downtown community to the rural coastal hovel of Santa Monica. The Metro Line is rumored to travel at a whopping 5 miles per hour, suitable to the slow paced LA mentality. The city promises to allow all travelers free passes, while upholding the high standards of Hollywood living, serving caviar and promises of stardom with every ride. Environmentalists across the nation are enthralled, for not only is this metro system going to be fuel free, but electricity free too! staying true to its sponsors motto, Nike(c),the metro will "Just do it!"...it will just GO! Celebrities in LA (all residents, of course)have volunteered, without advice from publicists, to man he pulley system used to run this state of the art, 21st century system.
Staying true to its environmental agenda, Nike has assured the residents of Los Angeles that the construction of this magnificent tram is not to emit any harmful toxins, or for that matter, any noise that may disturb the quite, pastoral sounds present in all regions of LA. This tram not only promises to connect the downtown metropolis with the near-indigenous, untouched, undeveloped landscapes present along the coastline, promoting ecological tourism, but also allow for long drunken nights out on the town, with safe transportation home. No longer will road rage exist in LA, nor will, cars be needed in any circumstances.
True,LA may be extremely underdeveloped outside of hollywood, but this seems to be a positive step foreword for the future of Los Angeles.
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